With and Without You
by AshtheAwesomeRainbow
Summary: Cheating and getting cheated on. That's a life-time's story. But for this guys, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Sam Aston and girl, Deena Dazzers, it is some more complicated.
1. Chapter 1: Sam

_1. Sam_

_God, d*mmit,_ Sam thought and sighed. His head was buried in his hands, gripping in his own hair. A single tear ran down his face, as he thought over everything. Mistakes had been made, affaires had been started, and now all he wanted, was that one person. The person he could never have again.

_A month earlier._

"Why can't you just admit it?" Fred said calmly. "Admit what? That I'm NOT gay? Okay. I am not gay, Fred. N.O.T." Sam spat back irritated. He was annoyed with Fred, the boy that had convinced him of his attraction to boys. But lately, the blonde was not what Aston wanted. He wanted something _completely_ else. And Fred couldn't take it, he couldn't believe it.

A soft smile appeared on Fred's face. "You are not even convincing yourself, Samuel. So how could you with that ever convince me?" His hand softly stroke over Sam's face. He shivered. "Stop that." His whisper came out weak, soft. Fred grinned, satisfied. Sam did not know why Fred made him feel so insecure, but he was sure that he had to make sure he did not want to date the Ravenclaw boy.

"It's not like you want to." His lips whispered close by Sam's ear. The next moment, Fred pressed his lips on his, and Sam kissed him back.

"Why would you want a break? We were going fine." Fred interfered. Sam bit his lip quietly. "I do not think we're fine, Fred." His reply was soft, as he stared towards the ground nervously.

_Sam had come to the 5__th__ years' dormitories to scoff at Sirius, because he was being so mean to his sister Maddie, even though she was his best friend's girlfriend. The older boy was utterly surprised, to see Sirius, in only a towel, cuddling himself on his bed as if he had a nervous breakdown._

_His grey eyes stared straight back into his. "What the hell do you want from me?" Sirius screeched as he noticed Sam standing in the door way. All the things he had wanted to yell at the younger Gryffindor, all the things he had wanted to hit out of him, they were all gone. Sam could only stare._

_"Uh, I don't know." He smirked and let his glance glide over Sirius' body. Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked at him curiously. "Well then. Go away." Sirius replied easily. Sam nodded, but walked up towards Sirius, not knowing why. _

_"Good night, Sirius." He said, before pressing his lips on Sirius' softly. As he walked away, a stupid grin appeared on his face. _

_"Hey, wait up!" Sam turned around seeing Sirius chasing him. "You did not just kiss me good night, now did you? " The boy asked with a grin. _

_"Guess you did." Sirius climbed up the stairs where Sam was standing and closed the distance between them. Leading Sirius the way to his room, Sam's lips did not leave his. "Pleasant surprise." He grinned, before kicking the door shut._

"Whatever you want, Samuel." Fred spat angrily, before busting away. Sam climbed through the portrait hole, and busted up the stairs. Smiling at seeing Sirius' open door, he walked inside. His heart beat uncontrollably, he wanted nothing but to see the boy, to love him and be with him. To be officially with him.

"Hello you."

He smiled, as he spotted Sirius' on his bed, all alone. Sirius' returned him a grin, before closing the door behind Sam. "Good afternoon," Sirius smiled, before pressing his lips on Sam's.

"Fred. Go away." Sam said calmly as the boy blocked his way. "No." Fred said, staring straight into his eyes. He sat down on one of the brown desks and folded his arms in front of his chest.

"I want to know why you dumped me. I know you're now with this 5th year, but I guess you do not know everything." Sam's eyes widened and suddenly he was very interested in what Fred had to say.

_"I can't stand it anymore, Remus!" Deena screeched desperately. "I opened up to you, I accept everything, what you are, who you are. But I cannot be him!" Her hand raced through her hair, shocking in horror as she held a strand of it in her hand. _

_"What do you mean, Deena?" Remus said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I cannot be Sirius." She said softly, hurt. Remus sat straight up, his eyes widened in amazement. _

_"How do I know? I'm not dumb, Remus. I see it. The way you two look at each other. Guilty, oh yes, but wanting. You want him. You had him. And I cannot be him." A tear rolled down over her cheek. Remus made a gesture to wipe it away, but Deena stopped him.  
"So, until you figured it all out.." _

_She sighed. "I cannot be with you." And with that she stood up, and walked away._

"How can you possibly know all this?" Sam asked, his eyes widened. "Deena is my sister." Fred said simply. Sam stared at the floor, biting his lip to push away his tears.

"That Sirius cheated on me, doesn't mean I want you." He said quietly and stood up, bashing away. The hurt he felt tore him up on the inside, he couldn't think straight. Sam bolted outside, wanting to be alone. He _loved_ Sirius, he thought the boy loved him back. He felt so confused. Dropping himself down on the floor, he pushed his back against the wall, burying his head in his hands, when he heard soft footsteps approach.

"Do you feel it too?" Deena said softly, as she approached Sam. He glanced at her curiously. "The hurt." She said calmly. He sighed and nodded.

"Thought so." She whispered. Sam observed her pretty features and noticed how strong she was, though fragile-looking. As he glanced into her chocolate brown eyes, he knew he better hadn't done that. He now wondered how it was like to kiss her, which confused him even more, because he had just accepted the fact that he was gay, and liked guys. Now Deena totally messed up his mind and he did not like it one bit. Their lips softly met, hesitant and grew more passionate every minute they were glued together. After the kiss, Sam felt guilty. He did have any feelings for Deena. But looking in her eyes, he realized that neither did she.

"I just cannot believe it, Sirius!" Sam cried, hitting himself for his forehead. Sirius just stood there, waiting for Sam to calm down. But he did not calm down. He paced up and down, trying not to lose his temper completely. The boy felt desperate, wanting to show Sirius he could not do this to him.

"How can you be so easy about this? You just tell me that I'm not the only one you're in love with and you just expect me to accept that?" Sam said, snorting angrily. As Sirius nodded quietly, he groaned. He was so easy about it, like he could not help the situation. But he was the key to this all. He was the one to decide what was going to happen and whoms heart would be broken. Sam just hoped it wouldn't be his.

"I can't do that, Sirius. Do you understand that? I do not want to share you. I..I'm going now. You should think about it." He said confused, desperate. Bashing out of Sirius dormitory, Sam had to cry, but wasn't willing to show it.


	2. Chapter 2: Deena

**Note: The entire **_**With and WithoutYou**_** fic (a collection of one-shots) is dedicated to Marc (Siriuszilla), because he is the other half of Samius, that will forever exist and wouldn't have existed without him. I love you so much! 3 And a special thanks to Jenna (Jenna822) who inspired my Remus.**

With and Without You.  
_2. Deena_

As Deena walked into the Hospital Wing, and into the nurse's office, she sighed softly. She was not afraid of the hospital, but just annoyed by it. _White, why does everything here have to be white?_ She wondered, glancing at the white beds, walls, cupboards and the rest of the thing.

"Here we are again, Deena." The nurse said calmly. Deena had always loved Poppy Pomfrey for her casualty with her disease. The nurse grabbed the needles, asking the girl if she was ready. Deena let out a sigh and decide to ignore the look in the woman's eyes, which despite everything was always there, when it came to the pricking.

"Let's just do it." She sighed and sat down on the chair. As Madam Pomfrey did what she had to do, Deena screeched out of pain, even though she had expected it to come. She said in the bed, mumbling to herself, caressing over her arm as the procedure was done, and waited to be ready to leave. When Madam Pomfrey said she was, the Ravenclaw immediately left, in the hope to get some alone time before she had to socialize at dinner. Then, she bumped into Remus, who she had made a fit with earlier. He saw her and approached her, immediately rambling as he was with her.

"You think you're different than the rest, enlightened or something, but that isn't true. I don't know what you're hiding, but you're hiding it for a good reason. But everyone has secrets, Deena." She stared into Remus' eyes, surprised by what he knew and said. Still her eyes shot fire at his comments. Everybody always said she _thought_ she was different, but Deena knew. She had thought that Remus was different, her only friend, and secretly her love. She was disappointed and showed it by pricking her finger in his chest, glaring up at him.

"You want to know my secret?" She spat angrily. "I have cancer. People do not want to be with me, because of that. They are more afraid that I´ll die than I am. So if you don´t want to be hurt, you´d better stay away from me. " Deena said and stood up, bashing away. As she pushed her back against a tree and sank to the ground, Deena stared at the sky. Admiring the glittering stars, tears ran over her face. You let go of yourself again, Deena. Why can't you ever just shut up? She thought and sighed.

"Deena?" Surprised she turned her face towards the voice, that was Remus'.

"I do not care whether you have cancer or not, I see you as a strong girl, not fragile, not weak, but as Deena. I-" At that point, she saw it in his eyes. The secure look, the willingness to make it up. She saw how his feelings were; exactly like hers. That was the moment Deena's lips softly touched his.

"I can't stand it anymore, Remus!" Deena screeched desperately. "I opened up to you, I accept everything, what you are, who you are. But I cannot be him!" Her hand raced through her hair, shocking in horror as she held a strand of it in her hand. Her hands were shaking, but she couldn't focus on her hair. She threw it away with a mad gesture, before focusing on her fight again.

"What do you mean, Deena?" Remus said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I cannot be Sirius." She said softly, hurt. Remus sat straight up, his eyes widened in amazement. Deena found it pathetic, weak. She never liked weak people, because it portrayed how she did not want to be. The girl rolled her eyes, haughtily look at him.

"How do I know? I'm not dumb, Remus. I see it. The way you two look at each other. Guilty, oh yes, but wanting. You want him. You had him. And I cannot be him." A tear rolled down over her cheek. Remus made a gesture to wipe it away, but Deena stopped him.  
"So, until you figured it all out.." She sighed. "I cannot be with you." And with that she stood up, and walked away. Deena spotted Sam, sitting on his own at the river bed of the lake. "Do you feel it too?" She asked quietly, as she approached him.

"The hurt," explaining herself, she sat down next to him. Sam nodded with a sigh.

Their eyes met and soon after that so did their lips. Not expecting this soft, warm feeling it would give her, Deena kissed Sam back for a second. Then she broke off and shook her head. "This is not the answer, neither is it what you want." She said softly and stood up. The guilt washed over her, like a tsunami over a city would do. The girl stalked away, not looking around once. _How can you do such a thing? You have no feelings for Sam or whatsoever!_

"Deena?" Remus voice sounded softly from behind her. "Hi Remus." She said simply and dropped herself down on one of the couches in the commons. He was surprised, for her being so cool to him and he dropped himself down besides her, careful to not touch her hair. Deena was slightly touchy about her hair lately, as it had already started to fall out.

"Deena, please. Talk to me." She shook her head quietly. The brunette could barely look at him. She felt ashamed, for being mad at him and then doing the same thing.

"I can't Remus. I made a mistake, humiliated myself and I feel horrible. So now is not the time."

Deena grabbed her book out of her bag and went to the page she had left off with. "What did you do?" Remus replied softly. She sighed and turned towards him. Deena prepared for the worst, knowing that her love and Sam were no friends. But she really _liked_ Sam as a person and as a comfort her was perfectly fine.

"I kissed Samuel Aston."

Her eyes narrowed as Remus grinned, no almost burst into laughter. "Oh, C'mon Deena. That's nothing in comparison to what I've done. But I regret it. I want you, Deens, only you. I miss you." Deena shook her head again and stared at the burning fire. She could not agree with what he said. Although she wanted to, Remus would never be hers. He belonged to someone else, and thus she had to let him go.

"You did not regret any of it, Remus. That is the point. Now, leave me alone."


	3. Chapter 3: Remus

**Note: The entire **_**With and Without**__**You**_** fic (a collection of one-shots) is dedicated to Marc (Siriuszilla), because he is the other half of Samius, that will forever exist and wouldn't have existed without him. I love you so much! 3 And a special thanks to Jenna (Jenna822) who inspired my Remus (Though I know your Remus would never kiss Fred. xD)**

With and Without You.  
_3. Remus_

Remus rubbed the hair out of his face. He sighed deeply at his confused head, not knowing what it actually wanted. You know you want Deena. But you are in love with Sirius, do not forget about that. Sirius will stay with Sam anyways. You don't know that for sure. He looked up as he heard a knock on his door.

"C'me in." Remus immediately regretted that as he saw Sirius walk in his room. "Hey.." Sirius said softly.

"Hey. How was Sam?" He replied hesitantly. Sirius bit his lip nervously. "Sam wants me to choose." Remus sighed.  
"Deena doesn't want me anymore, anyways." He said serious. "What? Why that?" Sirius sat down next to him.

_Deena's eyes narrowed as Remus grinned. "Oh, C'mon Deena. That's nothing in comparison to what I've done. But I regret it. I want you, Deens, only you. I miss you." She shook her head again and stared at the burning fire._

"You did not regret any of it, Remus. That is the point. Now, leave me alone."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm sorry Remus. I really am." He stood very close to Remus. "Sirius.." Remus said softly, hesitant.  
"I can't help it, Moony. " He whispered back, not moving away. Remus gulped and tried not to stare into Sirius' dark-grey eyes. "Please, don't." He said weakly.

Sirius grinned. "You cannot even convince yourself, so why would I believe it." He whispered, his lips close to Remus' ear. Remus shivered and stood back. "If I want anything to work out with Deena, I shouldn't do this. I'm sorry, Sirius."

**

As he walked into the Hospital Wing, Remus heart stopped as he saw Deena, lying in a bed. "Deens, what's wrong?"

Deena smiled weakly. "The meds don't work." She said simply. Remus' eyes widened in sudden shock. "How can you be so calm about that? If the meds don't work, you're- You are going to die!"

Deena laid down her hand on his arm. "I knew that this would happen the minute I got ill, Remus. Do not expect me to be all in shock and desperate, I'm just not. You know I'm not like that. Don't expect me to cry, while you know I won't."

Her words cut through his soul and Remus softly pressed his lips on hers. "Remus..Don't." She said, staring at the marble floor. "I meant what I said that night, Deena. I love you. And no way I'll leave you until the end." Deena smiled sadly.

"You do not want to hurt yourself so much, Remus. I do not want you to hurt yourself so much. Do not punish yourself because of me, Remus. I will always love you, but now you have to let me go." Her lips softly pecked his, and she smiled.

"Let me go, Remus." He nodded, and walked out of the Hospital Wing, wiping the tears from his eyes. As Remus walked through the door, he bumped into Fred. Fred's eyes were red and swollen, and he knew Fred had cried. "Let's go for a walk." Fred said softly, and took Remus along.

**

"She loves you, Remus. Just do as she says." Fred said, his gaze turned towards the green grass of the Grounds. "It's such a beautiful day. At days like this, Deena and I always went on a walk outside, she enjoyed that so much. You really hurt her. More than she was willing to show." Remus looked at Fred and shook his head.

"If you wanted to go on a walk with me, just to make me feel even more guilty than I already do, than I'd rather go." Remus spat angrily. Fred smiled. "Just like you, I need to forget. I can help you, Remus." They stood still and Remus looked into Fred's eyes.

"I..-I dunno, Fred. It feels like betraying Sirius.." He hesitated, and looked at the ground, biting his lips nervously. "Sirius will be happy with Sam. I want Sam to be happy, and if that is with Sirius, I can have peace with that. We need to continue our lives, Remus." Fred whispered in his ear, and Remus felt a shiver racing up his spine. As response, Remus pushed his lips on Fred's, who kissed him back eagerly. Remus' heart pounded in his chest and for once, he felt a light shining in the confusing darkness.

_"I can help you Remus..Just like you, I need to forget."_


	4. Chapter 4: Sirius

_Sirius._

"I just don't understand! Fred of all people!" Sirius screeched at Remus. Remus shrugged silly and sighed. "I'm sorry, Sirius. It just happened. I need to go on. Be happy with Sam, Sirius." _Right, f*ck you, Remus. _Sirius thought angrily, and spat: "Well then, screw it, Remus!" He stalked off.

Sirius busted into Sam's room, who looked up in surprise. "Sirius?" He asked carefully. "Remus is with Fred!" Sirius screeched angrily. Sam bit his lip.

"Sirius.." He said softly. Sirius sank down next to Sam. "I know, I'm sorry. I just feel so bad about it. I don't know why." Sam shrugged and stood up.

"Because..Because you're in love with Remus." Sam said hurt and leaned against the doorpost. "Sam..Please. Just give me some time." Sirius said softly and stood up.

"I cannot wait for much longer." Sam said and closed the door in front of Sirius.

**

"We need to talk." Sirius said, resting his head on Deena's bed. The girl opened her eyes sleepily and stared at Sirius. "Uh, hi." She smirked, glancing back.

"Why aren't you and Remus together anymore?" He demanded. Deena rolled her eyes. "Because, I'm going to die. So leave me alone and let me die, Sirius Black." Sirius' eyes widened in astonishment.

"Come again?" A sarcastic smirk glid over the girl's face. "You want me to say it again? Alright then." She coughed twice. "I am going to die, Sirius, so I let Remus go. He can't handle it, when I die." She said louder this time. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well, excuse me, ma'am, but now he goes kissing Fred!"

"So what? You're with Sam, aren't you?" Her true statement hit him hard. "What the hell-God, you're so right. I'm sorry Deena." He said bewildered and sprinted out of the Hospital Wing.

**

"Remus?" Remus glanced up at him from his bed. Sirius sat down next to his friend and sighed again deeply. "We need to talk."

Remus nodded, his dirty-blond hair shaking. "Yeah, we do." Sirius sighed, brushing a hand through his own hair.

"Let's get outside." An uncomfortable silence fell and Sirius gulped as he felt a fresh breeze stroke his face.

"Look Re-"

"No, I want to say something first. Sirius, I love you. But if you love Sam, I'm not going to sit back and wait for you. I won't. So, if you want Sam, I can have Fred, since I can't have Deena. I have to do something to-"

Sirius lips crushed on Remus' as he heard what the boy said. He felt Remus' warm lips on his, his heart fluttered as his friend kissed him back. They fell back in the grass, breathes ragging and Sirius stared at his friend. "Not here." He whispered and pulled Remus to the Shrieking Shack.


	5. Chapter 5: It's all coming together

"Hey Remus." Deena smiled as she saw him walking in. From his horrified expression she knew he saw what everyone else saw. Her pale face, dim eyes and wary appearance. _ It's not like I can help it, _Deena used to think, but not today.

"Don't look at me like that, Remus." The girl continued quietly, fidgeting with her blanket. Her friend shook his head.

"Then how am I supposed to look at you, Dee? Like I cannot see your tired being, so sick you can't even stand? That I can't see your shrunken face? I am not blind, Deena. How am I supposed not to see?"

Her hand touched his face softly, as Deena looked in Remus' eyes. "Shush..What's wrong, Remus?" She asked softly, her fingers trailing over his cheek. Remus stared at her ill face, her dim eyes full of worried sparks.

"No, no it's nothing." He sighed and tried to smile. She shook her head as she bent forwards and her lips touched his ear.

"You're not fooling me, Remus." Deena whispered, her lips clustered to his cheek. Remus shifted uncomfortable and a gentle smile cracked open her face as she sat back again. A cough prickled in her throat and Deena sprayed it all out. "Ugh, so sorry, Remus. Now, tell me what's wrong. I can handle it." She took his hand in hers and found his gaze.

"You're my friend. Just..spit it out."

"It's this..thing with Sirius." He said hesitantly and Deena chuckled. Remus glared at her and she raised her shoulders reassuringly.

"You shagged him again, haven't you?" His wide-opened, surprised eyes confirmed her thoughts. "You have! Oh, idiot."

"I couldn't help it!" He cried, defending himself. Deena laughed and patted with her hand on the white sheets of her white hospital bed. _ Everything is so white here, it sickens me, _she thought as he sat down. His head rested on her lap, and she caressed his hair as soft tears came.

"Sirius is just confused, Remus. You must give him time." She whispered as her hands went through his hair. Her gaze softened on his face as he grasped the ends of her bed sheets and really had to cry. "Give him time..He'll come by soon enough. But keep your hands off my brother."

Remus glanced at her in a surprised way, so surprised Deena chuckled again. "Ofcoarse I know. Fred told me. But I know you're not attracted to Fred. So don't break his heart." She said softly.

" I just thought that with Fred I'm steady, I know what I'm up to. Sirius doesn't even know what he wants himself. Then how am I supposed to know?"

" You can't know. Sirius has enough to think about, and Sam is pressing on him. It's hard, you must understand. Don't force him to make any quick decisions, Remus. It'll only work out bad for you." His hands closed around her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. She smiled at him gently as he leaned forwards and pecked her softly on the lips. "Go, you idiot."

" Thanks, Dee. Really."

"I know, I know. Now go."

**

" Sam, are you alright?" Maddie asked softly as she dropped herself down next to him. Sam's feet dipped in the lake, the sun shining on his head. His sister's hand caressed his arm as she gazed at him, he could feel her worried glance.

"I'm fine, Mads. Really."

" You're not."

Sam sighed and turned to her. His eyes met a pair of identical blue vivid ones. _Why can't I lie to her? Note to myself: learn how to lie to annoying little sister. __**You love her, Sam. **_She stared at him, trying to figure it out by herself. "It just something with Sirius."

Maddie sighed. "Again? Really, Sam, wouldn't you just consider- Never mind."

Sam glanced at her curiously, when his attention got drawn to birds flying over the lake. "Consider what?"

She looked at him shyly and sighed. "I don't want to-"

"Just say it. You will anyways.

Her glare was mortifying. Then she sighed again. "Fine. Wouldn't you consider putting your relationship on a break until Sirius knows what he wants?" He nodded quietly and got up. "Where are you going?"

" What do you think?"

**

"Sirius, there's nothing else I can say, you're an idiot." Sirius rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at James' head.

"Well thanks, now that was very helpful." James raised his shoulders and chuckled. Dropping himself on his bed, his friend stared at him.

" It's just true. You..You.."

"Shag?"

" Yes that, Remus AND Sam. While it'd be much easier to just..pick one. You must know you can't have both. You do right?" Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed again.

"Ofcoarse. But I want to have them both.."

"Sirius! You can't, you know that!" James got up and grabbed his sweater, pulling it over his head. " Where are you going?"

James smiled apologetic and sighed. "Maddie and I are going to do something. I dunno what yet."

" You know what they call that, James? Shagging!"

" Shuttup."

**

" We need to talk, Sirius." Sam whispered, strolling outside. Sirius followed him eagerly, the grass feeling nice under his bare feet. _Sam does look kinda flustered.. _Sirius thought as he observed his boyfriends face. The wind softly blew through his hair and Sirius' hand strangled with Sam's.

"I can't take it anymore, Sirius." Sam sighed and sat down in the grass. He dropped himself next to his boyfriend and stared in his blue eyes. On the other side of the lake Sirius heard Maddie squeal loudly and James laugh along. He rolled his eyes and focused on Sam again.

"Sam, I know but..I don't even know myself who I want.." He whispered, his gaze turned to the ground. His hand pulled out blades of grass.

"Stop killing the grass." Sam chuckled. "But, to be honest..If you don't know what you want, we'd better have a break until you do." Sirius looked up in horror and saw Sam's hurt face. His hand trailed over the seventh year's cheek and Sam slightly flinched.

"I am in love with you, Sam." He whispered, moving his face closer. But Sam moved away from him. "The problem is, you don't only love me. You also love Remus." With that Sam stood up, strolling away.

"Sam, wait!" The loneliness that caught Sirius when Sam walked away made him cry out. Sam turned around, his face surprised, his eyes though in pure agony.

"Please don't leave me. I love you. Please." He said breathlessly, staring in his boyfriends blue eyes. A sad smile appeared on Sam's face. He stopped walking, but still didn't say anything. Sirius scrambled towards him, grabbing his hands. "I want you, Sam. Only you. If I tell Remus that, will you than stay with me?"

**

Remus ran inside the Hospital Wing, his face white as snow. "Remus? What's wrong." Deena asked quietly as her friend hopped on her bed, still saying nothing. A soft smile appeared on her hollow face. Her hands brushed through his hair, she liked to do that. "S-Sirius..He-I" He stumbled.

"_Remus?" Sirius asked softly, walking towards him. Remus looked up from his book and put in his bag. Sirius' eyes stood serious, which was quite remarkable for him._

"_Sirius, what's up?" He asked worriedly._

"_I..I have made my decision. I am choosing Sam. I'm so sorry Remus, I just-When Sam wanted us on a break, I realized I didn't want to lose him. So I decided I'm going to give our relationship another shot."_

_A lump appeared in Remus' throat. Yet he casted Sirius a sad smile and sighed. "It's your decision, Sirius. I hope we can still be-"_

"_Friends?"_

"_Yeah." With that Sirius turned around and walked away._

Deena sighed and cupped Remus head. "I'm sorry for you, Remus. Really. But somehow, I'm relieved." Remus looked up at her in an awkward way.

"What? Why?"

"How could I ever leave you when you're so messed up? Now you know what you have. And what you don't have. So, you don't need me anymore."

Remus glared at her and locked both his hands around her cheeks. "Don't you ever say anything like that again!" He said seriously. Deena rolled her shoulders and sighed again.

"It's reality, Remus."

**

_2 months later._

They all stood gathered around the granite chest at the funeral of Deena Dazzers. Maddie was crying, for she had lost her best friend. Sam was there, for his sister, along him was Sirius. Dumbledore said a word for her, that she was a talented student and will be missed. But, except from the Maurauders, Maddie, Jasmine and Fred, there were no other students.

"Deena mostly pissed people off by her honesty. Or scared them away with her illness." Fred explained to Remus, when he asked about it. Then he pushed Remus to the front and said:" Deena said she'd like you to say something. "

"But..But-I'm not prepared!" Remus exclaimed confusedly.

Fred grinned. "She told me you'd say that. But then it comes from his heart, she told me. So go up there and tell something. Deena knows you can do that." Remus sighed. _You're an idiot that you're doing this. __**It's for Deena, so stop muttering.**_

"When I first met you, I just thought that you were another one of those know-it-all Ravenclaws. You seemed like you felt higher than everyone else, like you were enlightened. Later on, I realized that was just a mask you put on. When you were really honest with me, for the first time, I realized you only pretended to be strong, in order to feel strong. I hope I have been there for you. We'll never forget about you, Dee, atleast I know I won't."

Hands clasped together as Remus finished his speech and walked back to his friends again. He flinched slightly as he saw Sam and Sirius' hands strangled together and Sirius whispering something in Sam's ear. Sam smiled and softly pressed his lips on Sirius'. Remus turned away. _You were wrong, Deena. I still need you, _he thought with a sigh.

"Remus, are you coming back with us?" Sirius asked, his dark-grey eyes softened with worry. "No, I think I'm going to stay here for a while." Sirius hinced his shoulders and turned around, walking to Sam and the others, who were waiting for him.

Remus stared at the lake, and the grounds surrounding it and at once knew he didn't hurt anymore. "Sirius, wait!" His friend turned around with a lopside grin.

"I knew you would change your mind."

"Fuck you."

They walked towards the others, and James swayed his arm around Remus' shoulder. "Glad to have you back, Moony." He whispered and Remus chuckled and felt the same thing.


End file.
